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LEGIONS OF CRAZIES July 16, 2010

Posted by lycan librarian in Uncategorized.
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    Is it just the Lycan Librarian, or are horror movies today totally bland? Does anyone care about making a movie with a new and different script that will surprise their audience? The Moonlit Library has only one small window air conditioner, so many patrons are coming and going quickly, or not at all, opting to stay home poolside.  This has afforded the staff an opportunity to catch a few movies.

     The first one is LEGION. While watching the angels unfurl their magnificent wings was a real treat, the plot was obviously completely borrowed from Stephen King and TERMINATOR movies. There were no surprises, not one new concept, and no question at all as to what would happen. Yawn! How do these mundane rip-off movies get made when there are ‘legions’ of starving writers with wonderful scripts they can’t sell?

    The second film was THE CRAZIES. While the Lycan Librarian does enjoy government conspiracies in her plots, nothing happened that would keep one guessing. Except I do have one question: why would the affected people be capable of burning their families alive and be totally unresponsive to their friends, families and neighbors, and then one would suddenly react to the sheriff reminding her he killed her husband — just in time to save the sheriff’s pregnant wife?  Bah! And I truly believe multiple opportunities for particularly wonderful and creative gory scenes were missed. I don’t even care if I give the plot away. It doesn’t matter. It’s the same old, same old.

     Now, let’s discuss the leading ladies. Am I the only one noticing the rash of actresses with moles on their necks and faces? I don’t mean cute little beauty marks, I mean honking third eye moles.  I know I sound like a horrible Green Meanie, but moles can be removed, and, hey, I’m sorry, but they distract me!! In both of the above mentioned movies, I can completely describe the moles on the actresses’ heads, but couldn’t tell you what their faces looked like.

     If anyone out there knows of a good horror movie with a fresh plot and moleless actresses that can keep me nervously awake in bed at night with the covers pulled over my head, please let me know. All the ones I’ve been catching lately are,like, totally lame.

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Comments»

1. richfigel - July 17, 2010

Just watched THE WOLFMAN. What a dog. Nothing new, very bland and totally predictable. No idea why they even made it!

Last horror flick I really liked was THE DESCENT about group of women spelunkers who get hunted by blind mutant cave dwellers. Very simple, but claustrophobic and great tension between the ladies.

lycan librarian - July 17, 2010

Okay, I loved THE WOLFMAN. It was done as a remake of the old Lon Chaney Jr. movie, so they kept true to a lot in that film. I didn’t expect anything new in it, enjoyed the atmosphere and settings, and, of course, watching Benicio del Toro, who is one of the few actors I find hot. (I did a March 9th post on it.) My favorite scenes were when he was climbing the stairs as he changed, the scenes where people were trapped with him — in the asylum and the trolley car, and when he hopped up on that gargoyle and howled. I was amazed at how Anthony Hopkins looked so much like himself as a werewolf, too. Ah, well. You and I can so easily agree on movies to hate, but not those to love.

2. richfigel - July 17, 2010

LL –
If someone is going to remake a classic, I think there HAS to be a reason for it — either re-imagine the story, better execution (special effects, acting, etc.) or a different angle… eg., the original idea of re-telling the Robin Hood story from the Sheriff of Nottingham’s POV, with Robin Hood being a terrorist and the Sheriff being the good guy (however, that script got rewritten completely so that the ROBIN HOOD remake wound up being the same old, same old)…

Anyhow, my wife and I thought the make-up and special effects in WOLFMAN were pretty weak and laughable. But to each his own!

Actually, we preferred the old AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON to this remake.

3. lycan librarian - July 18, 2010

Now you gone and done it!! I have an overpowering urge to dig out AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON and wile away the day watching it. That movie has, what I consider to be, the best werewolf transvection scene that cinema has ever seen. Whoa! Does this mean we agree on liking a movie? I forgot to mention previously that I liked THE WOLFMAN remake so much I bought one of the pendants shown in the movie with the bishop and the wolves on it. (Of course, religious werewolves do have a special appeal to me, so it was the pendant design that compelled me to purchase it for a whopping $14, including shipping.)


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