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DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THESE MOVIES March 4, 2011

Posted by lycan librarian in Movie Review.
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     You can thank the Lycan Librarian now. She’s going to give you three to three and a half hours of your life to you by informing you of two movies that are so bad you shouldn’t waste your time watching them. She’s been suffering from a head cold, and had trouble keeping her eyes open to read after the cold medicine kicked in, so grabbed the afghan, curled up on the couch and plugged in a couple of movies. Unfortunately, she didn’t fall asleep during either of them.
     The first is no surprise. This viewer was well aware this one would be horrible, but grabbed it from the library shelf anyway. Thank goodness for the fast forward button and the welcome diversion of cleaning out her money-off grocery coupons. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2. This is actually a prequel to the first, and the original “stars” returned, alive and well, as kin to the now afflicted. Although the librarian thought she would never be able to say this about any movie, it is worse than PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. Better to make Grandma’s day and spend the time watching her vacation videos. It may pay off  when she remembers you in her will.
     The second movie you will definitely want to skip is MY SOUL TO TAKE.  The Lycan Librarian really hates when bad movies have good names, and when great directors like Wes Craven put their names on and their energy into totally unexceptional films. The concept — seven teens hunted by a serial killer that went missing the same day they were born 16 years previous. Now his soul, or one of his souls, is here to wish them all a happy birthday. There is nothing unusual, suspenseful, clever, memorable or entertaining about this film. Apparently, it was in the theaters in 3-D, but this viewer didn’t witness any scenes that she imagines would have taken her breath away behind the big goofy glasses.
     There are plenty of people out there writing wonderful scripts, so why do we keep getting the same mindless crap shoved at us? The answer may be because we take it. The librarian has friends whose teenagers buy any movie they want to see, and they don’t seem to care when they wind up with one they won’t ever watch again. She didn’t spend any money to see either of these two, but she did increase their library circulation by one each. Gulp!

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