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ANXIETY August 13, 2012

Posted by lycan librarian in Uncategorized.
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        Anxiety is a total lie. It’s a condition where our minds make up problems that might occur and then we worry about them obsessively. My head has stressed me out so fiercely that my stomach is constantly in a knot. I am skipping food and living on Valium, Grey Goose and cigarettes. I haven’t smoked regularly in decades, except now and then when I bummed one from someone else at a bar or a party while buzzed. But today I bought a pack with part of the $10 winnings from a scratch off lottery ticket I have been carrying around for months. I haven’t opened it yet, though.
        Where does this nervousness come from? Who or what fantastic creatures are planting irrational possibilities so deeply into our brains that they not only take root, but they completely take over so that our fears and doubts are bouncing around in our brains even while we’re engaged in other activities? Whatever it is, it’s extremely powerful, and I am looking for a way to use its own strength against it. I need to wrestle it down and turn its weapon completely around so it points right between its eyes, not mine. And then …POW!

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